Innocent Girl

You played the role of an innocent girl and I fell into your sick web of love. 
You make breaking hearts look so easy.
Do you collect the blood you spill? Gather the tears that fall because of you? 
It's hard to carry on when I have to stumble past the path of corpses you left in your wake. 
I can only hope I don't become one of those poor souls. 


Can you still feel it? 
My heartbeat going at a steady pace. 
You sped it up, now you're trying to stop it altogether. 
I won't let it happen. 
I can't let it happen. 
I refuse to believe that my girl isn't out there somewhere,
past the sea of lies and mountains of despair. 
I'll strive to survive so I can gaze upon her unknown face. 


Maybe if I turn back now I can save my tear stained face. 
I wanted to be your last first kiss. 
Now its all memories miss. 
I hope to see you again in hell. 
I'm a couple steps ahead of you since you already threw me down here. 
Don't fret, I'll claw my way up so we can be on even footing.

College Life (Isn't what you expect)

We all have heard people say that college isn't right for everybody, except my generation really hasn't. Most of my life I've heard teachers, parents, and peers all say that college is the way to go. The way to get a good job that pays well. The way to success. Basically the way to happiness itself. I think it was the late, great Steve Jobs himself who essentially said that today society is way too focused on college and not enough on creativity. Everybody knows someone who didn't go to college and is doing quite well off today, or everybody can at least point to Bill Gates or Jobs who both dropped out of college. 

As my finals are approaching I opened up my notes and books an organized them, and then I started looking at this zombie story I'm starting to write and got distracted. For anyone who doesn't know me too well I'm pretty much the biggest zombie freak ever. I hope to kick it with Romero before he croaks. (Look him up you sad fools who don't know who he is.) See, I can think of a 100 reasons to continue to write my story and dream about it, and only about five for while I should study for my final. I never cared for my grades in high school. I'm a big fan of learning on your own, which I do a lot of. For example I'll dispel a few commons myths right now. Shaving does NOT make your hair grow back thicker and darker. Sugar does NOT make you hyper. Christopher Columbus never "discovered" America, and people back then NEVER believed the Earth was flat. A girl on her period does not release hormones that make her act like a "bitch". That's merely a product of our culture and society.(Ask me for my sources if you really honestly care and I'll be happy to send them to you.) There is so much disinformation out there it's ridiculous. There is so much crap that people spout off as historical when it's in reality a very skewed version of it. My high school history teacher who I very, very highly admire has even quoted a few "facts" wrong.

It all makes it really hard for me to find the motivation to do well in school. If I really cared about half of the stuff I was required to know I would do research about it on my own. My junior year in  high school I had to take a geometry class. It was the most boring class I've ever had the misfortune to be a part of. It wasn't the teacher's fault, entirely anyway. By the end of the year we had an unspoken agreement that I would just sit there and not disrupt her class if she just left me alone free to write worthless poems in the margins of my notes. 

I'm rambling at this point. I blame my idol Hunter S. Thompson for that trait. Anyway what I'm saying is that college can be a bullshit, overrated institution. I thought I would actually have to bust ass to pass. It turns out it really is just as easy as high school and what have  I learned from it? Not a whole lot. I feel like that it's similar to that quote from Good Will Hunting, "...you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin’ education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library." It's so true. College is a sham. The public library and internet has everything your professors try to teach you. If you want the knowledge it's out there. Just go grab it. Yet society thinks if you don't have some shitty piece of paper that says you graduated from some shit college then you won't get ahead. Get a job. Blah, blah, blah. I've been told I'm lazy and unmotivated when it comes to classes...and it's true. I just don't care, and honestly I'm tired of trying to do it the traditional way. The commonly accepted way. Fuck that. I'll make it on my own terms.